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Reflections on 38 years of Marriage

Bill and Kathy cut the cake

I was the perfect man: charming, irresistible, polite, discerning, protective, and passionate. I was a hunk and man of God rolled into one ideal package.

… at least in Kathy’s mind.

What she actually got was an amiable but insecure, protective but selfish, polite but socially clumsy, passionate but lustful, fit but undisciplined, pursuer of God with millions of miles to go on my spiritual journey.

I am always amazed at the faith women have in the belief that men will change for the better once the aisle has been walked and vows repeated. Fortunately for those of the male gender, the women who love us see us for who we could be, not who we are in reality.

Of course that can be dangerous for a woman. Besides the fragile grip on reality, it is fraught with temptation to take the taming of the cave man on as a woman’s personal mission and prerogative.

Actually I was significantly self-righteous for many years about the fact that I didn’t want to change Kathy—like she wanted to change me. I wanted the woman I thought I married. However, when I read Paul’s instructions to husbands in Ephesians 5, I see a different attitude commanded entirely. Being a good husband is all about helping to change the woman I married—not into the image I had in my mind, but into the image that God had in mind for her when he created her. It’s not about shaping her into the perfect woman who will meet my needs, but helping her become all she was created to be.

Today, as I look back on 38 years of marriage, I am so thankful that Kathy Peel is not the cute little adoring coed I married. Despite my help much of the time, she has become a beautiful woman of God: smart, winsome, fiercely loyal to our boys and their wives, committed follower of Jesus, tenacious business woman, graciously confrontive wife, and passionate lover—and did I mention, she’s my best friend.

Prayer for My Work

Ken Boa is one of the smartest and yet most humble men I have been privileged to learn from. Check out Ken’s website for a host of great resources that will aid you in your spiritual development. In Ken Boa’s recent Reflections Teaching Letter he published a prayer for work entitled “Work as a Mode of Worship.” I pass it on for your consideration.

You have called me to participate in Your purposes through the work I have been given to do during my earthly sojourn. May I do my work with care and excellence in the desire to be pleasing to You. I realize that all things become spiritual when they are done in Your Name. May I honor You in my choices and activities and view the works of my hands as a mode of worship. I want whatever I do in thought, word and deed to be honoring to You and edifying to others. I ask for a clearer sense of purpose and calling and for the power to accomplish that for which You have placed me on this earth.

May it be true for all who bear the name of Jesus in our daily work.

Pursuing Your Calling in a Down Economy

Job layoffs and an anemic economy are pushing many Christians to question the purpose of their lives, yet I meet very few who are thinking in terms of the “good works” God had in mind when he designed them. Each of us has a high calling we are obligated to follow, and when we do, this brings God great glory and us great joy.

The quest to discover our calling should begin with four facts we know for certain … To read more go to The High Calling.

What Size Is Your Package?

Have you heard this old adage? “A person wrapped up in himself makes an pretty small package.” The same is not only true for persons, but for any organization as well, especially the church.

The day before the election Robert Geyer and David Ruper asked a jarring question. Robert is a business executive and David is a communication professional. They write about the intersection of faith and life at Red Letter Believers. Their question was simple:

“Is it possible that big government thrives because of a little church?”

I think they are onto something. It’s not little church size-wise though. It’s little church vision-wise that’s the problem. Could it be that as church leaders have gotten wrapped up in themselves, they have forgotten their mission to the world? Is it right to blame government when the church (we Christians) has neglected to do it’s job?

While those of us who mistrust “big government” contemplate what happened on November 4, it might be more productive to reconsider the impact of “little church,” and what we can do to be a little less wrapped up in ourselves for the next four years.

Read Red Letter Beleivers blog.

The Serious Work of Being a Father

or How to Make This the Best School Year Ever for Your Kids (and Your Wife)

I usually write about faith in the workplace in this space, but I want to pause and talk about another kind of work God calls us to do that must brought into rhythm with our career.

In case you missed the news, Kathy and I just gave birth to twins.  Well, sort of.  Not new children but two new books released this summer:

• What God Does When Men Lead by yours truly
• The Busy Moms Guide to a Happy Organized Home by Kathy Peel

While listening to Kathy talk about how stressful back to school was for moms, it dawned on me that most men are clueless how much work it takes to launch kids well into a new school year.  After all, isn’t that mom’s department?  To that I would say absolutely not!”

Parenting is a team effort and a man’s role is mission critical to the welfare of his family.  In 1 Timothy 4:3 Paul says that men should,  “Manage their household well.”  One of the things that means is that it’s our job to create a positive launching pad for our children. Here are three important principles to apply.

1. Redefine your role around the house. Think of yourself as a partner not just a helper.  For too many years as Kathy was sweating the start of a school year I told her,  “Let me know if I can do anything.”  That puts the entire burden on her.  A partner figures out what needs to be done and takes on the task without being asked.  If you’ve never taken a look at what it takes to run a household, hold onto your seat and download a form off of Kathy’s Family Manager website entitled “Who’s Responsible for What?” It will probably shock you to see all the tasks that it takes to run a household.
2. Show up. Obviously our physical presence is important, but many of us have a hard time showing up personally for our family.  I understand.  We are distracted by a lot of pressures that come at us from all directions,  but when we walk in the door,  it’s dad time, not time to relax. That would be like showing up at work for break time.  If you haven’t discovered how critical you are to your family,  check out Chapter 10, “The Inestimable Value of a Father” in What God Does When Men Lead.
3. Own the morning.  Trust me here.  Own the mornings, and your evenings—after the kids are in bed—will be rewarding.  Mornings during the school year are the most stressful time of the day for mothers and kids.  Mornings are also the launching pad for the day,  and you want to give your children the best possible start to the day .  Here are my suggestions.

• Download “Reduce Morning Chaos” from Kathy’s Family Manager Website.

• Schedule time with your wife after the kids are in bed and inform her that you want to take personal responsibility to start everyone’s day on the right foot.  Read through the above article together and make a list of all the morning jobs that need to be done to start the day well and list all the potential roadblocks.  Then divvy up the work.  Since you are a “partner,” that doesn’t mean that you do all of the work,  but it does mean that you do take on 50%-plus of the jobs and take responsibility for how things actually go.  That means you’ll be getting up earlier and spending time with God to make sure you are in a servant-hearted frame of mind before the chaos begins.

• Next,  schedule a family meeting and talk through the morning routine—no whining allowed.  If you have older children,  listen to their feedback,  but don’t give in to things you know are important like sitting down together for breakfast.  Go over when everyone is going to get up,  what each person will be responsible for,  the bathroom schedule,  and if necessary,  consequences for uncooperative attitudes.

• Last,  make the commitment to give each day a spiritual jumpstart by reading a short (very short) children’s devotional or a portion of a chapter in Proverbs (there are 31 chapters) and praying together for everyone’s day ahead.

4.    If you are really brave,  “adopt” our twins,  What God Does When Men Lead and The Busy Mom’s Guide for a Happy, Organized Home.  Read and study the first with a group of men.  Read the later with your wife and get into her world.

P.S.  There’s a link to a study guide for your men’s group to the right.

Business as Mission

Last week I had the privilege of connecting the Global CEO Network, serious business men and women committed to doing business internationally and carrying the love of Jesus Christ with them. The organization that sponsored the event was EC Group International founded by Tom Sudyk. These men and women gather twice a year to share wisdom, discuss guiding principles, and help each other operationalize their desire to take their business global or begin a new business in another country with a Kingdom agenda.

What marked these individuals as unique in my mind was their tenacious commitment to make a profit both financially and spiritually. Who would have thought these could go together? (Oh, that’s right. God) Their common values: commercial excellence and expressing God’s love through business. If you see your business as your ministry, you need to know about this group. Click here.

What’s interesting about this growing group of Kingdom entrepreneurs is that they have largely taken on this Kingdom Agenda on their own without help of mission agency or church. They just felt called to do what they could for world evangelism using what God gave them: a heart for God and a mind for business. Kind of reminds me on the Early Church, business men and women compelled by the love of Jesus taking the gospel all over the Mediterranean world after they heard it from the Apostles.

The Serious Work of Being a Husband

I usually write about faith in the workplace in this space, but I want to pause and talk about another kind of work we are called to do that must brought into rhythm with our career.

Some of you know that this time last year ago my precious wife Kathy was battling breast cancer. As we worshiped at the Easter Service at our church a few days ago, my memory turned back a year to Easter 2007. Just four days before, Kathy had undergone a radical mastectomy. But there we were sitting near the back of the auditorium, me in my suit and Kathy dressed in a roomy coat that covered the drain tubes that ran from her scared body. She refused to miss Easter and the opportunity to sing “Christ the Lord is Risen Today.”

A year ago I wrote the following in an email to friends:

God has a reason for Kathy to be here, and I am so thankful. Kathy continues to have a growing impact on America’s families—and I get to be her husband. What a privilege! We love helping each other do the will of God—a husband and wife’s highest calling, according to George MacDonald.

As I watch Kathy at her work today, I am so thankful for the positive outcome of this trial. I have to admit, I can’t image life without her nor doing my work without her help. But neither can I image her mission cut short. It is my privilege to help her do the will of God. And I continue to be amazed at the impact Kathy has on the people she works with.

Rather than slow her down, cancer has expanded her impact on others. (Why should I be surprised?) Just last week when she was at her surgeon’s office for a checkup, she took the opportunity to pray with her doctor about a trial sin the doctor’s life. I love that about my wife. She’s always seeking to serve others, even when she is the one who is supposed to be being served.

So gentlemen, along with honoring God in your workplace today, remember that you have another job as well. And it deserves just as much hard work and dedication: to help your wife do the will of God. If you have no idea what that is, let me encourage you to pre-order a copy of What God Does When Men Lead. You’re likely to get “brownie points” from your wife just for ordering it on your own. Click on the image and it will take you to straight to Amazon.

4 Comments »

1. Hi, Bill! I loved getting your email and of course I enjoyed so much reading this “entry.” I am sure you’ll be updating it regularly. I think I will order the book for John for Father’s Day — perfect!C.Comment by Anonymous — March 25, 2008 @ 11:15 pm
2. This is such a powerful story, Bill. Thanks for sharing it. And it’s a good reminder to invest in our marriages. My wife and I are partners after all.Comment by Mark Goodyear — March 26, 2008 @ 5:40 pm
3. Thank you for sharing this story…and the quote from George MacDonald (one of my favorite authors!)that the highest calling we have as a couple is helping each other do the will of God…may my husband and I seek to do this for each other…thanks for the encouragement and insight. May you and Kathy have many more Easter mornings to share with one another!Comment by Connie Hughey — March 27, 2008 @ 1:04 am
4. […] 24 Seven Faith reminds husbands that along with honoring God in the workplace, honoring the Creator by honoring your spouse is also a high calling. He has a particularly moving personal story to tell in this regard. […]Pingback by Around Our Network… : HighCallingBlogs.com — July 17, 2008 @ 2:09 pm

The Most Strategic Place for Kingdom Influence

In this blog I’ll address the first Big Idea that can change the way we do church.

Big Idea One: The workplace is the most strategic place of Kingdom influence for most Christians. Contrary to popular perception, you don’t need to quit your job and move to a Third World country in order to make a significant contribution to the Kingdom of God and help fulfill the Great Commission. God has called most of His people to workplace vocations meeting a variety of human needs emotional, physical, and spiritual and wants to use them there for His Kingdom purposes.

I cite numerous examples of men and women who are pursuing Kingdom purposes in the “secular” workplace, but my favorite is Steve Bigari. I wrote about him in my April 20, 2007 blog. But I just met another man this week, who convinced his Fortune 500 company to sponsor a Christian Diversity group within the company. Of course this opened up the gate for a host of other faiths to begin groups as well, but I’m pretty confident in biblical faith in the free marketplace of ideas. One of the reasons that the company allowed this to happen was because they trusted this individual. They had seen the quality of his work and the quality of his character lived out before their eyes for twenty years. This individual knows he is called to his work and is making a significant Kingdom difference in his workplace. Because of the size of his company, he actually has a bigger audience that his pastors (of a very large church). He told me, “A person can hide in my church. But I can’t hide at work. People see who I am. They see everyday whether my faith makes a difference in my life of not.”

We don’t need more churches. We need more churches committed to equip men and women to take their faith to work!

These four Big Ideas are discussed in detail in Going Public with Your Faith. To order a copy click here.

Four Big Ideas That Can Change the Way We Do Church

My proposition is simple: when we forget the importance of the workplace in God’s plans, the cause of Christ suffers. We believe that this is both biblically and historically true. However, all over the world men and women are beginning to understand how tactically significant the workplace is to God’s Kingdom plans. When the church calls its people to focus inward (on the church organization), it shrinks. On the other hand, when the church launches people into the world and honors their calling to the workplace, the church grows. We think that it’s time for men and women in the workplace to fulfill their destiny as the leaders that God called them to be.

That’s why Walt Larimore and I wrote Going Public with Your Faith. In this ground breaking book, we propose four radical ideas that could change the way people think about work and evangelism.

Big Idea One: The workplace is the most strategic place of Kingdom influence for most Christians.

Big Idea Two: Evangelism is a process, not an event.

Big Idea Three: Our job in evangelism is to discover where God is already at work in people’s lives and join him there.

Big Idea Four: Being a person of spiritual influence is every Christian’s calling, not just the responsibility of a gifted few.

In the next few blogs I’ll speak to each idea breifly.

These four Big Ideas are discussed in detail in Going Public with Your Faith. To order a copy click here.

5 Comments »

1. Amen! I look forward to this series, and may have to add this book to my reading list. Thanks!Dan King
   http://managementbyGod.com

   Comment by Dan King — January 4, 2008 @ 11:08 am

2. Dan, I think you’ll like Going Public unless you are a gifted evangelist–they sometime balk at these concepts. God has gifted some people to get right to the specifics of the message (about 12% of the church according to Barna have the gift of evangelism). That leaves the rest of us to figure out how we are to share our faith. Fortunately the Bible is not silent. John 4:35-38, Matthew 13 and other passages all teach that evangelism is s process. Going Public is not just about being biblical, it’s also about what’s appropriate in a given situation, specifically the workplace. And here is the big principle here: If we want people to pay attention to our faith, we first better pay attention to our work.Comment by Bill Peel — January 4, 2008 @ 12:30 pm
3. I agree with Dan. This is a great book, and it will be good to have this promo. I was looking at the video curriculum and I wondered if you had posted any preview clips on YouTube. That might be a good thing for bloggers to embed…Comment by Mark Goodyear — January 8, 2008 @ 3:27 pm
4. Great thoughts Bill. Thanks.Comment by Daniel D — January 10, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
5. I just wanted to point out again that I appreciate you doing this series! It has been good to follow!I also wanted to let you know that I have selected you to get the Thinking Blogger Award.
   Thanks! Keep up the great work!
   Dan

   Comment by Dan King — February 5, 2008 @ 2:45 pm